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SEXUALITY: OPTIONS FOR SEXUAL EXPRESSION

admin — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 12:03:26 +0000

The range of human sexual expression is virtually infinite. What you find personally satisfying and enjoyable may not be an option for someone else. The ways you choose to meet your sexual needs today may have been very different two weeks ago or will be two years from now. Knowing and accepting yourself as a sexual person with individual desires and preferences is the first step in achieving sexual satisfaction.

Celibacy
Celibacy is avoidance of or abstention from sexual activities with others. A completely celibate person also does not engage in masturbation (self-stimulation), whereas a partially celibate person avoids sexual activities with others but may enjoy autoerotic behaviors such as masturbation. Some individuals choose to be celibate for religious or moral reasons. Others may be celibate for a period of time due to illness, the breakup of a long-term relationship, or lack of an acceptable partner. For some, celibacy is a lonely, agonizing state, but others find that it can be a time for introspection, values assessment, and personal growth.

Autoerotic Behaviors
The goal of autoerotic behaviors is sexual self-stimulation. Sexual fantasy and masturbation are the two most common autoerotic behaviors. Sexual fantasies are sexually arousing thoughts and dreams. Fantasies may reflect real-life experiences or forbidden desires or may provide the opportunity for practice of new or anticipated sexual experiences. The fact that you may fantasize about a particular sexual experience does not mean that you want to, or have to, act that experience out. Sexual fantasies are just that – fantasy. Another common autoerotic behavior is masturbation. Masturbation is self-stimulation of the genitals. Although many people feel uncomfortable discussing masturbation, it is a common sexual practice across the lifespan. Masturbation is a natural, pleasure-seeking behavior in infants and children. It is a valuable and important means for adolescent males and females, as well as adults, to explore sexual feelings and responsiveness. In addition, masturbation is an important means of sexual expression for older adults who have lost a lifelong companion or whose companion has a prolonged illness.

Kissing and Erotic Touching
Kissing and erotic touching are two very common forms of nonverbal sexual communication or expression. Both males and females have erogenous zones, or areas of the body that when touched lead to sexual arousal. Erogenous zones may include genital as well as non-genital areas, such as the earlobes, mouth, breasts, and inner thighs. Almost any area of the body can be conditioned to respond erotically to touch. Spending time with your partner to explore and learn about his or her erogenous areas is another pleasurable, safe, and satisfying means of sexual expression.

Oral-Genital Stimulation
Cunnilingus is the term used for oral stimulation of a female’s genitals, and fellatio is the term used for oral stimulation of a male’s genitals. Many partners find oral-genital stimulation an intensely pleasurable means of sexual expression. Seventy percent of college-age men and women have had oral sex. For some people, oral sex is not an option because of moral or religious beliefs. It is necessary to remember that HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be transmitted via unprotected oral-genital sex. Use of an appropriate barrier device is strongly recommended if either partner’s health status is in question or unknown.

Vaginal Intercourse
The term intercourse is generally used to refer to vaginal intercourse, or insertion of the penis into the vagina. Coitus is another term for vaginal intercourse, which is the most often practiced form of sexual expression for most couples. A great variety of positions can be used during coitus. Examples include the missionary position (man on top facing the woman), woman on top, side by side, or man behind (rear entry). Many partners enjoy changing and experimenting with different positions. Sexual intercourse can take on different meanings under different circumstances. It can be a hurried, unplanned event involving little communication in the back seat of a car or an erotic, sensual experience including the exchange of love and mutual emotions in a private setting. Knowledge of yourself and your body, along with your ability to communicate effectively, will play a large part in determining the enjoyment or meaning of intercourse for you and your partner. Whatever your circumstance, you should practice safer sex to avoid disease transmission or unwanted pregnancy. The Reality Check points out the high frequency of sexual intercourse among college students as well as the lack of safer-sex practices.

Anal Intercourse
The anal area is highly sensitive to touch, and some couples find pleasure in the stimulation of this area. Anal intercourse is insertion of the penis into the anus. Sixteen percent of college-age men and women have had anal sex. Stimulation of the anus by mouth or with the fingers is also practiced. As with all forms of sexual expression, anal stimulation or intercourse is not for everyone. If you do enjoy this form of sexual expression, remember to use condoms to prevent disease transmission. Also, anything inserted into the anus should not be directly inserted into the vagina, as bacteria commonly found in the anus can cause infections when introduced into the vagina.
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SEXUALITY: VARIANT SEXUAL BEHAVIOR

admin — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 11:59:57 +0000

Although attitudes toward sexuality have changed radically since the Victorian era, some people believe that any sexual behavior other than heterosexual intercourse is abnormal, deviant, or perverted. Rather than using these value-laden terms, people who study sexuality prefer to use the term variant sexual behavior to describe sexual behaviors that are not engaged in by most people. The following list of variant sexual behaviors includes behaviors that are illegal in some states and some behaviors that could be harmful to others:
- Group sex. Sexual activity involving more than two people. Participants in group sex run a high risk of exposure to AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections.
- Transvestism. The wearing of clothing of the opposite sex. Most transvestites are male, heterosexual, and married.
- Transsexualism. Strong identification with the opposite sex in which men or women feel that they are “trapped in the wrong body.” In some cases, transsexuals undergo sex-change operations. Since the 1960s, 4,000 of these operations have been performed in the United States.
- Fetishism. Sexual arousal achieved by looking at or touching inanimate objects, such as underclothing or shoes.
- Exhibitionism. The exposure of one’s genitals to strangers in public places. Most exhibitionists are seeking a reaction of shock or fear from their victims. Exhibitionism is a minor felony in most states.
- Voyeurism. Observing other people for sexual gratification. Most voyeurs are men who attempt to watch women undressing or bathing. Voyeurism is an invasion of privacy and is illegal in most states.
- Sadomasochism. Sexual activities in which gratification is received by inflicting pain (verbal or physical abuse) on a partner or by being the object of such infliction. A sadist is a person who receives gratification from inflicting pain, and a masochist is a person who receives gratification from experiencing pain.
- Pedophilia. Sexual activity or attraction between an adult and a child. Any sexual activity involving a minor, including possession of child pornography, is illegal.
- Cybersex. Surfing the Internet to access sexually explicit materials or to make contact with other “surfers” for exchange of sexually explicit commentary. Some people have been known to compulsively surf “X-rated” sites for several hours a week.
- Autoerotic asphyxiation. The practice of reducing or eliminating oxygen to the brain, usually by tying a cord around one’s neck while masturbating to orgasm. Such practices are usually discovered when the individual using this method accidentally hangs himself or herself.
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PSYCHOSEXUAL SKILLS – INSTANCE

admin — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 07:24:17 +0000

Mr I. was a 25-year-old ex-soldier who came complaining of impotence. He could no longer get a condom on and had finished with his girlfriend although he still cared a lot for her. He wanted to talk about his testosterone levels (normal) and not about the fact that he had one testicle. One had been removed at herniorrhaphy as the surgeon said it was out of place and a cancer risk. The doctor asked if he could examine him. The soldier became embarrassed, shifting from leg to leg with his arms crossed. He said that he hated undressing in front of people, but he would if it would help. He was an active body builder with a handsome physique and cheeky tattoos. Something did not fit and the doctor asked why he was unhappy with his body. He replied that he liked it, but that his first sexual partner had laughed at it when he tried to make love standing up, after a night out drinking, with another soldier watching. So examination revealed that it was not his testicle that was vulnerable, but his external masculine nakedness.

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THE COUPLE – PRESENT

admin — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 07:18:04 +0000

At the present, specialized infertility clinics exist where couples are invited to attend together for their appointments. The joint interviews can provide an extra dimension in the realm of differential diagnosis if the interactions between the couple are noted. Often it will be the first time that these two individuals have been seen together. There are many scenarios that give insight into the two separate sides of the relationship, and the difficulties within it, that might well go unnoticed or ignored in the traditional medical models of treatment.

Mr and Mrs B. attended their first appointment anxiously together, but Mr B. had to keep retiring to the car park during the hour-long discussion because he felt faint in hospitals. Mrs B. apologised profusely for him and protected him from any further appointments. Many months later during treatment when she was obviously putting on a brave face at the appearance of yet another period, a comment about her fierce ability to protect not only her husband from his fears of hospitals, but also him and the doctors from her devastation and grief at the feared inevitable childlessness, enabled her to pour out, with tears and words, all her anger at the situation. The clinic counsellor was then able to visit them at home and have an open discussion with them both. They hope to resume further infertility treatment after a few months of reflection.

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AMBIVALENCE ABOUT PREGNANCY

admin — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 07:11:31 +0000

Most steps forward in life involve giving up some of the old as well as gaining the new, from straightforward events such as changing school or job, to complex maturational stages such as moving from childhood to adulthood. The grief of giving up the old combined with anticipation of the new gives rise to very mixed feelings.

Although not consciously sought, this pregnancy was not altogether unplanned. The cracks in the relationship did not really show until the couple had to face this crisis together and their differences became obvious. Miss B. seemed to mature a great deal in the course of a week and moved from blaming him for the abortion to claiming responsibility for her own actions and making her own decisions.

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THE COIL – BALANCING RISKS AND BENEFITS – ADVANTAGES

admin — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 07:02:53 +0000

The coil has many advantages, once fitted it can be forgotten, and sex can be spontaneous. The method seems more natural as it acts on the uterus, in contrast to the Pill which affects the body generally. There is the possibility of pregnancy: ‘I could slip up with the coil and it wouldn’t be my fault!’, but this risk is not great. The tradeoff between heavier menstruation and good protection against pregnancy is one that women can come to terms with easily. Although doctors recommend regular checks, the woman, in contrast to the need to return for new supplies of Pills or spermicide, can avoid the doctor if she has no problems. Once the coil has been inserted, the balance swings back in favour of the couple. Perhaps this is the bargain which makes the fear of insertion worthwhile.

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CONTRACEPTIVE SIGNS OF CONFLICT – INTRODUCTION

admin — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 06:56:24 +0000

Contraceptive decisions are complicated, involving as they do the questions of whether to have children, the timing of such children and how many are wanted, as well as the choice of which contraceptive method and who should use it. Conflicts may manifest themselves in a variety of different ways. There can be a complaint or dissatisfaction with all methods. While such discontent may be legitimate in the sense that there is no perfect method, nevertheless most people do manage to make a choice. It may be necessary to confront the patient directly with a remark such as, ‘It seems that no method is any good, and it is true we do not have the ideal method, but I was wondering if anything else was troubling you.’ Such a remark can give the woman the necessary space to talk rather than forcing a choice upon her. She may have allowed herself to get frightened by the horror stories about the methods, exaggerating the dangers. She may feel she needs protecting against the risks of life itself and may wish she did not have to be grown up and take responsibility for her own actions. She may resent her partner’s irresponsible attitude.

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EATING FOR SEXUAL SUCCESS

admin — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 07:50:42 +0000

We know that a well-functioning blood-flow system is essential for erections. Over a long period of time, what you eat can mean the difference between a healthy or blocked flow of blood to your penis—the difference between erection and impotence.

The keys to good blood flow are your penile arteries. Keeping them working well is essential if you want to enjoy intercourse throughout your life. While there are only a few studies of the arteries in the penis, these arteries seem to follow the same rules of operation as the body’s other arteries, which have been examined extensively. Medical research has found many ways to keep arteries functioning healthily, and these methods can help maintain potency. Probably the most important way is to maintain a diet low in cholesterol and saturated fat.

Foods that contain large amounts of cholesterol (a waxy, fatlike substance), can harm potency because they can clog up the penile arteries, blocking the flow of blood. While the body produces some cholesterol naturally, for most people the problem develops from eating high cholesterol foods like eggs and fatty meats. Some people can eat practically anything and still maintain low cholesterol and healthy arteries, but most of us need to watch what we eat.

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REIGNITING YOUR SEX LIFE: A TESTOSTERONE BOOST

admin — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 07:16:41 +0000

When a man is truly testosterone-deficient, replacement can work wonders. This was the case with a fifty-four-year-old patient named Bill. When he couldn’t help but notice the progressive decline of his sex life, he quickly—and wisely—brought it to my attention. A man who enjoyed a regular sex life with Emily, his wife of twenty-three years, Bill was incredulous. “I’m losing my urge to have sex,” he said. “I guess it’s sort of inevitable at my age—maybe I just don’t have all the testosterone I used to.”

I told Bill that his assessment was probably right and ran a blood test to support our view. His hormone level measured a low 220 nanograms—any reading under 300 is considered deficient. After checking for evidence of abnormalities that could be contributing to his deficient levels—testicular or prostate cancer, pituitary disease, and cirrhosis of the liver are known offenders—and coming up negative, I recommended that he have an injection of testosterone.

A few days after getting a shot of 200 milligrams, Bill reported back to me; his libido had definitely been stirred. After two more weeks, he received a second shot, and soon afterward, I switched him to prescription transdermal patches. With them, he could easily self-medicate. Each night he placed two patches on his body, on either a thigh, an upper arm, his back, or abdomen. Each 2.5 milligram patch gradually released the hormone through the skin and into the bloodstream. After a month of using the patch, Bill called me again. “I have that old urge back,” he told me. “It feels like an old friend has come back for good.”

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THE VIRILITY-ENHANCEMENT PROGRAM :THE GINKGO BILOBA EFFECT

admin — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 06:56:49 +0000

The healing powers of this ancient tree include that of an antioxidant. When taken over a period of weeks, it’s thought that compounds in the plants can help to inactivate free radicals. By guarding cell membranes from damage, ginkgo helps to make blood vessel walls more flexible and keeps red blood cells pliable, allowing them to squeeze through capillaries without getting stuck. This, of course, makes it easier for blood and oxygen to reach the tissues of the penis.

Studies performed over the last fifteen years reveal that the ginkgo may also be useful in improving circulation and preventing cardiovascular disease. In the last decade, hundreds of scientific papers have been published which detail animal and human experiments with the pulverized leaves of the ginkgo tree. All extol the plant’s ability to increase and maintain blood supply.

I recommend one 40 milligram capsule of ginkgo biloba three times a day. Ginkgo biloba is sold in health food stores in concentrated tablet and capsule form. Give this mighty plant time to work. Because it can’t repair cells that are already damaged, it may take several months before you begin to notice its effects. At that point, it will be offering protection against further damage and blood flow should be enhanced.

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